Tongue twisters

Published: March 31, 2009
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Tis always the season to be stylish, so let’s open the mailbag to see what quandaries await The Style Guy this time . . .

Dear Style Guy,

When simple things like a belt with a waistcoat can get you down, what do you do when 20 miles in each direction from you there are eight guys masquerading as a pipe band wearing the most ridiculous Highland “fashions” possible? That’s what it seems like we are faced with here in New Jersey. Take a look at these photos.

When confronted with the irregularities, faux pas, combat-boots, laces that are like a roman warrior, golf-shirts on top, and other blatant mistakes by those of us “in the know” we are told, “We just like to have fun and we don’t take it as seriously as you do.”

Truth be told, they may be right, and not just with the fashion, if you know what I mean. But back to the question: what do the rest of us do when this ridiculous Highland get-up is so commonplace around here that folks start to think it’s normal? Any chance you can start a syndicated column in the Asbury Park Press or Trenton Times to give us followers of yours some relief?

Signed,

Highland Clown Suit Complainer

Hmmm. These are indeed severe cases of people having too much fun at the expense of us, um, prigs.

HCSC, I hate to say it, but I think you need to relax. There comes a time when it’s just too much to get worked up over. My advice is to let these well-meaning folk do what they will, and then take your own well-kitted-out band on the very same streets and impress the very same people with your sartorial genius. You must lead by example.

 

While these cross-region rivals might have little to do with your pursuit of playing and style excellence, the worst thing to do is to shun them. The best approach is to befriend them, offer to buy the next pitcher of green beer and find some common ground. Before you know it, they’ll be asking you not only where you got those funny no-tongue lace-up shoes, but also how to play a D-throw.

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TIP OF THE DAY
Sharpening your shell’s bearing edges will increase your drum’s clarity.
Doug Stronach, Toronto Police