May 20, 2011

Name games

Like at me!An attention-craving couple named their unfortunate baby “Like” last week and evidently alerted all the papers. Apparently they’re so obsessed with Facebook and being “unique” that they’re willing to subject their child to a lifetime of confusion and torment. I can’t imagine the cruel variants of poor Like’s name. (Well, actually, yes, I can.)

I’ve heard of piping and drumming people naming their pets after piping and drumming things. For example, the famous Ronnie Rollo had two dogs, one named “Captain,” the other “Carswell.” I’ve heard of an Australian piper being named after his parents’ Scottish hometown of Airdrie (“Good thing they weren’t born in Auchtermuchty,” the late great Big Ronnie Lawrie famously quipped while judging).

I suppose if the aforementioned couples’ “passion” for Facebook can be strong enough, then surely (don’t call me that) some piper or drummer will eventually name his/her progeny after something we do. The possibilities are great.

“Tachum” comes to mind as a good boy’s name, and “Edre” seems a nice choice for a girl. You could always give your spawn a first name starting with D and a middle name of “Throw,” thus “D. Throw.” (Of course, body type would dictate whether D. Throw will be of the heavy or light variety.)

One of the “_luath” embellishments, while inviting a nice nickname of Louie, presents certain pronunciation and spelling problems, which, believe me, get tedious. I’d see any of the “Taor_,” “Crun_” and “Lem_” having a masculine sound, so good for boys. But since Gaelic nouns are gender-agnostic, these potential forenames are AC/DC, as it were.

Like George Foreman, you could name all of your kids “Mach,” and thus “Mach 1,” “Mach 2,” “Mach 3” and so forth. Make Mach a middle and add a first-name beginning with A for a perfect “A. Mach.” Brill.

“Darado” has a certain ring to it, but one can conceive of the obvious horrible variations on that ground. When I was a toddler I listened to a record of folksongs by Burl Ives (the voice of the reindeer Rudolf, by the way, in the stop-action 1964 TV special), so that’s almost as good as “Birl,” which I would think would be a certain front-runner for many pipers.

I can hear the shouts from parents: “Get a grip, Grip!” “Doubling! Don’t let me show you the back of my hand!” “Nice job, Strike!”

On the drumming side, little “Flafla” works nicely for a girl, but beware of “Ratamacue,” unless you want the poor kid forever compared with vermin. “Roll” seems almost normal, but anything with “Diddle” would be going simply too far. If Tyler Fry ever had a kid we could reasonably expect him/her to be named “Flourish.”

Although I think that our passion (although I’m getting sick of people talking about their “passion” for every little thing – “I have a passion for garage doors.” Really??) for piping/drumming is unique enough on its own, I’m sure some procreating duet somewhere at sometime has named their offspring after an embellishment.

After all, what’s not to like?


  1. Good one. I actually met a gent some years ago whose last name was Birrel, which is another form of spelling ‘birl’. Lucky his he was tall enough and his Christian name wasn’t ‘Albert’, or else he would be the low A. Birrel…

  2. Pets for sure. My dog is named Piper.

    Oh, and Birl Ives voice was that of the narrating snowman in the Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer cartoon from the 60’s. Used to watch that every Christams way back in the day. Still do some years.

  3. I remember a piper in a past band of mine who had a German Shephard called Tachum, which was a cool name for a piper’s dog. It did make people nervous though if he ran ahead on a walk after other dogs, and the owner shouted out TACHUM, which in a scottish accent sounds more like “take him”

  4. Brilliant! I like the possibilities of Rodin, or even Rodina for a girl. ‘Bubbly’ not so nice and what if they weren’t? ‘chedare’ for the heir of a cheese empire maybe. Quite like ‘dithis’ -pronouinced as spelled- a kind of piping Glynis. Siubhal McDougall. Doublin McGubbin, Dare McParry. Even if they’d reverse the Like to Ekil. What fettle Ekil?

  5. Hmmm….Is it just me or does this sound like Andrew and Julie are getting ready to welcome a dog into their household? Maybe you could try this one on for size….name the next pup after the hometown of my “Richardson” ancestors…..”Ecclefechan”….lol

  6. “What’s not to like?” …were you watching the NBA lottery special the other night? If so, I take it you are now a Cleveland Cavs fan!? Thanks for the shout out on the new Cleveland motto…”what’s not to like?”

  7. My neighbors are going to name their soon-to-be-born daughter “Piper James”. I’ve never felt so honored! However, I cautioned that such naming conventions could cause paternity rumors in our neighborhood.

    The father’s name is James. After a last try for a boy (3 for 3 girls) he is adding James for a middle name to keep it “alive” as a traditional family name. I still like my version of reality better.



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