Random Observations in the Negative
by Kahlil Cappuccino
On the subject of the opposition to the abolition of the Best Bass Section prize:
“For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe, the horse was lost. For want of a horse, the rider was lost. For want of a rider, the battle was lost. For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.”
On People who offer their opinion too much on Web blogs, forums etc:
The more we think of some people the less we think of them.
On those who hide behind anonymity and technology to stir the shite:
“You’re a liar!” shouted the little man.
“What?!” roared the big man, clenching a huge fist. “Do you dare call me that, you pint-sized, hammered-down sawed-off runt?
“I do,” came back the defiant reply.
“If you insult me again, you big hunk of beef, you’d better watch out, or I’ll cut you short!”
“Cut me short, you abbreviated piece of nothing!” cried the enraged giant.
“Yes, and here goes!” snapped the little man sharply. And quick as lightning, before the big fellow could utter a word, he hung up on him.
On those who hide behind anonymity to stir the shite only to be “outed”:
Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn’t understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays:
It rained Willie seven days.
On backhanded compliments to a shunned tenor-drummer:
Don’t worry if your job is small, and your rewards are few;
Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.
On the pipe band public’s speculation and RSPBA silent obfuscation:
Public opinion is what people think other people think.
On the consultation about the Amendment to 3.58 and contradiction of 1.34:
In a small town a man used to call the telephone operator every morning and ask her for the correct time. After several weeks the curious operator asked him why he did so. “I have to be very careful about the right time,” he explained, “because I blow the noon whistle at the factory.” “That’s strange,” she answered, “Why, every day at noon I set our clock by your whistle.”
And finally . . .
On the Grade 1 Qualifier system at the World’s:
On the bands who continually try to qualify:
Never mind the bollocks!
Kahlil Cappuccino plays the biggest drum with the Grade 1 78th Highlanders (Halifax Citadel), a band that will not need to never mind the bollocks this year. He lives in Ottawa.