The Style Guy: Knot know

And now, The Style Guy, the man of artistic action, who can spot a Highland gear faux pas at a hundred yards, who can recognize a Saxony kilt just by the sound it makes as the offending wearer walks, whose sporran houses a solid silver Victorian flask of rusty nails. Let’s tune in to see what TSG has to say about a select collection of inquiries.

Dear Mr. Style, or is it Mr. Guy?

I play in a Southern California band where any time we play it usually bloody hot and blindingly sunny. I know, everyone is jealous but, seriously, we have members falling over from heat exhaustion at some of the games.

Are there any options (legitimate for competition) for pipe bands besides the good old “I have a black rabbit on my head” glengarry? No one wants to wear the balmoral anymore. What’s a So. Cal pipe band to do??

Sincerely,

The Mad Hatter

Have you tried a feather bonnet? What about a bearskin busby? Seriously, shy of recommending that you sport LA Dodgers caps (might help their finances . . .), your options are limited. Pith helmets worn by non-military folk are for, inevitably, the musically untalented, as nice as these people may be, so they’re not an option. Here’s a radical idea: why not go hatless? I understand that pipe band tradition is to cover the head, but you can still be in uniform by uniformly going without headdress. But given concerns with skin cancer, it makes sense to shield one’s cranium from the sun. I understand your aversion to balmorals, but this could be your solution. The hat allows your head to ventilate, and you can even sew in a discreet sweatband. And, hey, West Coast often sets fashion trends, why not be non-conformist and make a statement? I endorse this.

Oh, and, it’s The Style Guy.